death is just an excuse to forget you

Sun, 25 Dec 2005 08:17:09 GMT

Fri, 28 Oct 2005 04:28:17 GMT

new journal, new start.

livejournal.com/users/xagendasuicide

named after the best band in the entire world.

Sat, 08 Oct 2005 06:46:56 GMT

buying stuff online is so fun

Thu, 06 Oct 2005 03:10:07 GMT

So my mom is hell bent on sending me on a senior trip. This is pretty cool, fuck yeah.
i origionally wanted to go to catalina island because ive been there and its so nice and pretty. its expensive durring summer, but its okay.
then my mom and i realized that it would actually be cheaper if i went on something a little more like well... a cruise. A FUCKING CRUISE. Wtf? sweet.
i told her i dont want to go to graduation. she asked me why and i said its cuz i honestly dont want to because i dont like most of the people or dont know them, and i dont want to go t a stupid like 3 hour thing hearing about other peoples accomplishments, and then they get to me and say "will be attending ventura college". Im only going there because i want to get more credits before i go to the law school, and then to a UC. Then imma work for my mom's uncle who is a senator. WEE
wtf happened to my childhood, i feel so old. i dont want to grow up, fuck that.
im almost 18. I mentally feel older but i wish to be younger.
maturing sucks.
anyways, im not sure where i want to sail to. not hawaii, too hot. maybe to like anatrctica, haha YES.

Sat, 24 Sep 2005 05:10:37 GMT

Here are 14 things that bring me joy and I am tagging 3 friends to do the same in their journals.

1 Playing computer games
2 seeing my friends
3 playing my guitar
4 listening to music
5 looking up cars I want
6 playing with my hamster
7 making videos
8 sleeping
9 cuddling
10 kissing
11 shopping
12 eating
13 school
14 thinking about my future

edit: i wont tag anyone cuz no one ever does it

Tue, 20 Sep 2005 00:43:44 GMT

Jeremy, Chris, Patrick, and Drew

Patrick Clancyyyy

and again

Chris :)

all of em again

drew

jeremy and chris

my boys. i love them, so much.
especially the cute blonde one, hes my lovaahhh :D!!!

Mon, 19 Sep 2005 04:23:05 GMT

Im in love with my ears.
I am so ramped to go to the next larger size.
but tonight when i took my tunnels out to clean them...
i just sorta got this feeling.
like... i dunno
i think imma take em out =/
i hate being torn.
i want them..
but.. sheit.
i absolutely HATE the way tunnels look in the larger sizes.
but unfortunetely i am allergic to EVERY other form or plug/eyelet/tunnel/anything.
i can always stretch back up again, yeah?
=(

Thu, 08 Sep 2005 02:50:41 GMT

http://woodbodyjewelry.safeshopper.com/537/1528.htm?404
god those are beautiful

Wed, 07 Sep 2005 03:11:18 GMT

www.myspace.com/thedivinerighttheory
because i hate myspace
but i love being a cool ex girlfriend.

Tue, 06 Sep 2005 06:04:47 GMT

World Of Warcraft.
Do Quests.
Kill bad things.
Battle other people.
Level up.
And dance with others.
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE <3333

Thu, 01 Sep 2005 18:10:39 GMT

BIIOOTCHH

kiss my white ass

Thu, 01 Sep 2005 05:02:33 GMT

who's at 4?
meeeeeeeeee.

this saturday = me + Jeremy for 1 year and 4 months. WOOT WOOT

Mon, 29 Aug 2005 02:38:39 GMT

hey shakira, will you be my lesbian lover <3

Sat, 27 Aug 2005 18:00:57 GMT

=(
ill miss you both.

Sat, 27 Aug 2005 04:33:31 GMT

So, Erin came to my door, handed Jeremy a box, and left. I so knew what it was. It was two cuuuute wittle hamsters. They seemed to get along well, so we put them together. Then they started fighint. baaaad! So then we separated em, and put em back together. They were so cute, they would both run on the little wheel at the same time. Then, about 20 min ago, the big one with no white stripe attacked the wittle one with a white stripe, and the wittle one was running away all sad like. He got like 4 gashes on him and is bleeding :( the other mean one got a slash on his eye. So we decided they cant be together, and we are gonna have to get rid of the mean one. It sucks, hes so cute, hes just so so mean :(

makes me sad. sad sad sad.

in other news, i made a friend with the name jesabel. i think that name is so pretty.

tomorrow I am going to band practice with Jeremy, Drew, and Pat. Woo!

i <3 jeremy

Mon, 22 Aug 2005 04:33:52 GMT

tomorrow = the first day of school.

goodbye summer, you fucking sucked this year.

Mon, 22 Aug 2005 04:33:26 GMT

I have..

(x) smoked a cigarette
( ) smoked a cigar
( ) smoked anything else
( ) made out with a member of the same sex
(x) been in love

(x) been dumped
( ) shoplifted
( ) been fired
( ) been in a fist fight

(x) snuck out of parent's house
(x) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
( ) been arrested
( ) made out with a stranger
( ) gone on a blind date

(x) lied to a friend
(x) had a crush on a teacher
(x) skipped school
( ) slept with a co-worker
( ) seen someone die

( ) had/have a crush on one of your MYSPACE friends
( ) been to Mexico
( ) been to Europe
(x) been on a plane

( ) thrown up in a bar
( ) eaten Sushi
( ) been snowboarding
( ) crashed and burned snowboarding
(x) been moshed at a concert (jesus god the unseen show)

( ) been in an abusive relationship
(x) taken painkillers
(x) love someone right now
(x) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
( ) made a snow sand angel

(x) had a tea party
(x) flown a kite
(x) built a sand castle
(x) gone puddle jumping
(x) played dress up

(x) jumped into a pile of leaves
( ) gone sledding
(x) cheated while playing a game
(x) been lonely
(x) fallen asleep at work/school

( ) used a fake ID
(x) watched the sun set
(x) felt an earthquake
(x) touched a snake

(x) been tickled
( ) been robbed.... my fucking glasses
( ) robbed someone
(x) been misunderstood
(x) pet a reindeer/goat

(x) won a contest
(x) been suspended from school
(x) had detention
( ) been in a car accident

(x) had/have braces
(x) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(x) had deja vu
( ) danced in the moonlight

(x) hate the way you look
( ) witnessed a crime
(x) questioned your heart....OH YEAH

(x) squished barefoot through the mud
(x) been lost
( ) been to the opposite side of the country
(x) swam in the ocean
(x) felt like dying

(x) cried yourself to sleep
( ) played cops and robbers
(x) recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers
(x) sang karaoke
( ) paid for a meal with only coins

(x) done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(x) made prank phone call
( ) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
( ) caught a snowflake on your tongue

(x) written a letter to Santa Claus
( ) been kissed under a mistletoe
( ) watched the sun set with someone you care about
(x) blown bubbles
(x) made a bonfire on the beach
( ) crashed a party
(x) have traveled more than 5 days with a car full of people
(x) gone rollerskating/blading
(x) had a wish come true

( )worn pearls
( ) jumped off a bridge
(x) screamed "penis" in class
( ) ate dog food on a dare
( ) told a complete stranger you loved them

(x) sang in the shower
(x) had/have a little black dress
( ) made whoppee in a park
(x) had a dream that you married someone
( ) glued your hand to something
( ) got your tongue stuck to a pole
( ) kissed a fish
(x) worn the opposite sexes clothes
( ) been a cheerleader
(x) sat on a roof top

(x) had sex
( ) had sex at a church
( ) had sex in a bathroom
( ) had sex in a car

( ) screamed at the top of your lungs
( ) done a one-handed cartwheel
(x) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours
(x) stayed up all night

( ) pick and ate an apple right off the tree
( ) climbed a tree
( ) had a tree house
(x) been scared to watch a scary movie alone

(x) believe in ghosts
(x) have/had more then 30 pairs of shoes
( ) worn a really ugly outfit to school
( )gone streaking
(x) played ding-dong-ditch (ringing a door bell and running)

(x) played chicken
( )been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on
(x) been told you're hot by a complete stranger
( ) broken a bone
(x) been easily amused

( ) caught a fish then ate it
( ) made porn
(x) caught a butterfly
(x) laughed so hard you cried
(x) cried so hard you laughed

( ) mooned/flashed someone
(x) had someone moon/flash you
( ) cheated on a test
(x) forgotten someone's name

(x) slept naked
( ) french braided someones hair
( ) gone skinny dipping

Sun, 21 Aug 2005 04:51:15 GMT

1. My initials: NNA

2. Name someone with the same birthday as you: some girl named NICOLE ironically.. bitch hahahaaa jk

3. Where were you born? Ventura, Ca

4. For or against same sex marriages? go for it

5. Are you homophobic? no way jose

6. Are you bisexual? wouldnt you like to know

7. Do you believe in God? give me proof

8. How many US states have you been to? manu

9. How many of the US states have you lived in? 1

10. Have you ever lived outside the US? no

11. Name something you like physically about yourself: eyes?

12. Name something non-physical you like about yourself: no idea

13. Where do you want to go to retire? dunno

14. What is your dream car? honda ex awww

15. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go? anywhere

16. Have you ever had someone of the opposite sex over at your house while your parents were gone? yes

17. How many concerts have you gone to? tons

18. Do you download music? yes

19. How many illegal things have you done? many

20. Where would you want to go on a first date? movies?

21. Describe your perfect date: uhh a connection?

22. Has anyone ever sang or played for you personally? yes!

23. Ever been kissed under fireworks? YES

24. Do you like President Bush? no

25. Have you ever bungee jumped? no

26. Have you ever white-water rafted?: no

27. Have you ever crashed a car? no

28. Has anyone more than 10 years older than you hit on you? yeah

29. Have you met a real redneck? yes

30. Are you interested in anyone right now? yes

31. What song are you listening to right now? nothin

32. What is your current favorite song? dunnooo

33. What was the last movie you watched? alexander

34. Who was the last person you said you loved? Jeremmyy <333

35. Where was the last place you went besides your house? took jeremy home

36. Have you ever seriously vandalized someone else's property? yeah

37. Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex? yes

38. Have you ever sang in front of a large number of people? yes

39. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? hair

40. What really turns you on about the opposite sex? cuddles

41. What do you usually order from Starbucks? CARMEL FRAPPACHINO

42. What is your biggest mistake? being a bitch sometimes

43. Have you ever hurt yourself on purpose? yeah

44. Say something totally random about you: i havent worn my glasses in TWO DAYS

45. Do you have an iPod? yes

46. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity? no

47. Do you still watch kiddy movies or TV shows? ya

48. Do you have braces? yeah

49. Are you comfortable with your height? yeah

50. What is the most romantic thing someone of the opposite sex has done for you? thats a secret :)

51. When do you know its love? my heart tells me so

52. Do you speak any other languages besides English? no

53. Have you ever been to a tanning salon? ya

54. What magazines do you read? i dont

55. Have you ever ridden in a limo? no

56. Has anyone you were really close with passed away? ya

57. Do you watch MTV? yeah

58. What's something that really annoys you? when im in a game and some other person LAGS

59. What's something you really like? my boyfriend

60. Do you like Michael Jackson? yes

61. Can you dance? yeah

62. Have you ever surfed? no

63. Do you know how to pump gas? no

64. Do you drive? soon enough

65. What's the latest you have ever stayed up? no idea

66. Have you ever thought that you were honestly going to die? no

67. Were you ever rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room? no

68. Have you ever been dared to do something you didn't want to do? yeah

69. What's your favorite food? MEXICAAN

70. Do you actually read these when other people fill them out? yeah

Sun, 21 Aug 2005 04:40:44 GMT

Yesterday was good! Jeremy came over and gave me the bestest hug EVER. And then we cuddled and spent the whole day together :D

Today, we went to the mall and got some stuff. Then we came here, watched Alexander, and played World Of Warcraft and Alexander (the game) and yeah did other stuff. it was GRAND. I love having him home!!!! Life is great :D

Sat, 20 Aug 2005 04:56:39 GMT

[X] I am a cuddler
[x]I am an OKAY dancer.
[ ]I am a morning person.
[x]at times I am a perfectionist.
[x] I am an only child.
[ ] I am Catholic. (heh0
[x] I am currently in my pajamas.
[ ] I am currently pregnant.
[ ] I am currently single
[ ] I am currently suffering from a breaking heart.
[ ] I am good at styling other people's hair.
[ ] I am left handed.
[ ] I am married.
[ ] I am obsessed with my myspace.
[x] I am online 24/7, even as an away message.
[x] I am very shy around the opposite sex at first.
[x]I bite my nails.
[x] I can be paranoid at times.
[x] I currently have a crush on someone.
[ ] I currently regret something that I have done/am doing.
[x] When I get mad I curse frequently.
[x] I don't hate anyone.
[ ] I enjoy country music.
[ ] I enjoy jazz music.
[x] I enjoy smoothies.
[x] I enjoy talking on the phone.
[ ] I have a car.
[x] I have a cell phone.
[x] I have/had a hard time paying attention in/at school.
[x] I have a hidden talent.
[x] I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal.
[ ] I have at least one brother and/or sister.
[x] I have been told that I am very smart.
[ ] I have broken a bone.
[x] I have Caller I.D. on my phone.
[ ] I have changed a diaper/nappy.
[x] I have changed a lot over the past year.
[x] I have done something illegal.
[ ] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
[ ] I have had major/minor surgery
[x] I have had my hair cut within the last week.
[x] I have had the cops called on me.
[x] I have kissed someone I knew I shouldn't.
[ ] I have kissed someone of the same sex.
[x] I have mood swings.
[x] I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
[ ] I have tried a drug that is illegal.
[ ] I watch Sex and the City.
[ ] I like Shakespeare.
[ ] I like the taste of blood. (anyone who says they do is trying to show off)
[X] I love to cook. (i love to eat)
[x] I like to sing.
[X] I love my friends.
[X] I love sleeping.
[X] I love to play computer games.
[X] I love to shop.
[X] I miss someone right now.
[x] Do you love someone a lot right now?
[x] Are you sad about something?
[ ] I read books for pleasure
[ ] I strongly dislike math.
[ ] I will try anything once.
[ ] I work at a job that I enjoy.
[ ] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
[x] I hate summer
[X] I love to paint/draw/sketch/sculpt.
[X] I am in love.

Fri, 19 Aug 2005 07:22:02 GMT

So its wee in the morning on Friday now. I just got out of the shower. Wow, I love taking showers at midnight. It's so nice. It's refreshing.

Jeremy told me he was going to be at Burbank around 2:00, but I didn't take into the fact that he was talking Oklahoma time. So that means he will be there around Noon..

Given the amount of traffic and that it's the end of summer, he may take as much as an hour or two just to drive to Ventura. But that's okay.

I asked if he would be just comming over or if he would call me ahead of time. I would prefer he call me, but whatever is fine. The only downside to him suprising me is that I basically have to be ready ahead of time. But that's okay. Ill just play WoW or something, haha.

To be honest I'm rather weary of tomorrow. No, thats not the right word. I'm very nervous. Nervous of how I will feel, act, and what I will say. I'm afraid I'll be shy again, as that is how I seem to get.

Theres so many things I want to say to him and do with him, but I just hope I can open up to him and get used to him being with me soon.

I can't beleive i haven't seen him in over a month. This was torture. I decided next year I don't give a shit. Imma be out of high school then, so I'm going with him. His mom likes me, so why not. By then we will have been dating for well over two years, so it'll be fine. His mom rocks.

Ahhh I think imma stay up pretty late tonight. I seem to be staying up until around 2 Am usually, and sleeping in rather late. So hopefully if I stay up late, I'll wake up around 11:00ish, and won't have too long to stress out, haha.

But man, when he shows up at my door and has that great smile of his and hugs me, man, all my dreams will be coming true.

Wed, 17 Aug 2005 06:09:32 GMT

im really tired.
im tired os being dependent.
im tired of being lonely.
im tired of being used.
im tired of being sad.
im tired of being upset.
im tired of feeling awkward.
im tired of realizing things.
im tired of being awake.
im tired of always being sick.
im tired of being self concious.
im tired of being pushed around.
im tired of summer.
im tired of waking up without my boyfriend.
im tired of not getting to cuddle
im tired of not getting to get hugs
im tired of not getting to kiss
im tired of not getting couple things.
im tired of him being so far away.
im tired of being a loser.
im tired of being a normal person.

i want to be a jedi.

Wed, 17 Aug 2005 01:10:05 GMT

1 Visual Communications- norberg
2 Marine Biology- wilson
3 English- beal
4 3-D Art- mann
5 Clothing- hayes
6 Economics- rowley

because i NEVER post pictures of myself

Tue, 16 Aug 2005 06:10:16 GMT

the sexiest shirt alive.

i miss him.

Mon, 15 Aug 2005 22:39:50 GMT

Mena Suvari is the hottest girl in the entire world.